Today as I was up in the mountains, one of the many things I was reflecting on was the topic of abortion. I was thinking of this mainly because of this blog and thinking I had unintentionally left a couple of things out. The other reason is because a good friend of mine is unexpectedly expecting again. A friend who has had an abortion in the past and while I don't agree with abortion I am sympathetic to her situation and understand how difficult her life has been. Of course not having sex outside of marriage would be the answer in her case, not abortion, I can't cast the first stone there since I have been just as guilty.
I have known of three friends who have had abortions. One of the three my heart especially breaks for because she had very little choice in the matter. The one that had very little to no choice had an ectopic pregnancy. The doctors told her the baby would not likely survive and her life was in danger from the pregnancy as well. I really can't see that as being the same as killing the baby if the baby was not going to survive and the mother's life were threatened, I am afraid that might very well be the only type of circumstance in which I myself may have done the same thing. I would have consulted with a priest on the matter but I really think I would have made the same choice under those circumstances. The other two friends, I feel really bad for the situation they were in but I would not have had an abortion.
I had not in the past taken a strong stance on the issue. Even if I thought, I would not have an abortion I was not going to impose my opinion on someone else. Now, especially after returning to the church, I know I need to speak out more for the sake of the children who can't.
I used to lean more pro-choice until I got pregnant with my daughter. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I knew I was having a girl. It was very shortly after that her name came to me in that I seemed to be hearing that name frequently all of a sudden. It was standing out for me in a very strong way. I also felt a bond with her right away. I knew, I could feel, my daughter's presence in my womb even before I could physically feel her or even see her on ultra-sound. This was not my imagination, it was confirmed first when ultrasound confirmed the sense I had that I was having a girl, and throughout the pregnancy as the bonding increased and continued to increase after she was born and through her life. I am very close to my daughter and I knew her from the time she was in my womb.
I was still away from the church at the time, so it was not a religious issue at all. It was just fact.
It is not a matter of philosophy or opinion, a child is alive in the womb from the very beginning. That is not an opinion, it is true. So I have to think of it this way, if you can't afford your 5 year old, would you kill him or her? If your 10 year old's father left the picture and decided they no longer wanted to be a parent, would you kill them? If you have a 2 year old, a 4 year old, a 7 year old, and a 12 year old, and you know you can't take care of them all to the standard you could if you only had 2 or 3 kids, which one of them would you kill? I am sorry to be so blunt, I know how stressful and difficult a crisis pregnancy can be, but it's the truth. If you wouldn't kill the baby you hold in your arms, you need to realize that the baby you carry in your womb is the same even if you can't see him/her yet. There are counseling services and resources available for women in a crisis pregnancy and for women who are suffering from emotional trauma after an abortion. One project I know of is called the Gabriel project. There are others out there if you look, either online or contact your local church.
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